Today..........

Today I going to complete some employment paperwork and physical for my new contigent job. I'm excited and looking forward to this. It will be so nice to have an extra job closer to home and who knows I may really like it there. I need ot keep this short and sweet and go get myself ready.

AF started today which I knew was coming. I'm sad but did not cry. I'm really going to try hard to just relax this next cycle. This is something that I cannot control, which drives me crazy. There is no sense in worrying about it because that is definitely not helping. Oh well I'm going to try to blog later about the rest of my week. It's been sad in some other ways.

Decorating

I have had a really nice weekend. Yesterday we went to breakfast and then to Target. I wanted to but an entry way table for our Foyer. Of course I did not like the one that was on sale but oh well. I really like it and it was easy to put together. Our foyer looked so bare, little by little this house will come together.

It feels overwhelming sometimes when I think about all the things we need to do around here. We still have quite a bit of painting left to do and decorating is the big one. I love it but I always second guess myself. I wish I could be more self confident. I find myself walking in circles trying to decide where to hang pictures or where to place other things on endstands, mantle etc. I have a business card for an interior decorator but I have not made the call yet. One I just don't know that we can afford it. Well maybe I will at least call and ask, it would be nice to have some help.

Can you help me get off this rollercoaster?

So I don't know all the details yet but Chad had a meeting at work this afternoon to discuss the budget and possible lay offs. Ugh! This would be the last thing we need right now. He said me a text that said " No lay offs for now, still getting a raise this year, I will tell you more details later." Whew! That is what I needed to hear. When he gets home later he can fill me in.

Yesterday I got an offer for the contingent nursing position at Madison County Hospital. Yay!! I go next week to complete some more paperwork and a physical then at some point RN/General Hospital orientation. I am really looking forward to having a place closer to home to pick up extra time and it will be nice to meet some people around here. I really do not know many people here since I did not grow up here.

Chad had some blood tests come back abnormal and had an ultrasound today. I was worried about that too. I tell ya when it rains it pours. But so far the results are looking ok still waiting on some more blood work results to come back. Keeping my fingers crossed it turns out to be nothing.

Then there is this who trying to conceive thing. I have been told by more than a few people that I am worrying too much and that I need to put the OPK's and thermometer away. Not sure how I feel about this, I did not think I was worrying that much. Taking my temps is a way to learn about my body and I find it very interesting. Maybe I am but do not realize it. Hmmmm what should I do? maybe if I did put that stuff away and repeat several time everyday "I will get pregnant someday if it is meant to happen." that would be better. TTC was described very well on a board I belong to. A rollercoaster! I am tired of riding the rollercoaster and I want off!

I can't believe it!

I just changed my backround and I did not screw it up. I have been wanting to change it but scared to death I would mess it up.

Thanks to Janny for her adorable backrounds and directions.

What do you think??

Worried

Well I decided to stay home today due to the weather. Turns out they are closing the office at noon. That would not have been worth the two hour drive to get there. I felt guilty at first my now not so much. It's bad out there. My husband tells me last night. "We are having a union meeting on Thurs afternoon. Employees need to give up their 3% raise this year or they are going to lay off three people." Well guess what, Chad is at the top of the three so he will be one of them. I really hope that does not happen and prayed hard about it last night. We need both of our incomes to make it. Then this try to conceive is about making me mentally ill. I try so hard NOT to worry but I think I still am without even realizing it. I started spotting today which I guess could be implantation, I'm six days post ovulation but I am already thinking the worst. I'm just sure it will be my period. I needed to get that off my chest. Now I am off to organize some things.

Feeling sad today......

So my morning starts off with ,"you won't believe who died." One of my patients, a young 58 year old that was just in for an appointment on the 13th. He was such a pleasant person even though he had been through a really rough time. His wife commited suicide a year and a half ago. Of course he was having trouble dealing with it. Who wouldn't?? He loved her! When he was in we talked about the holidays which I assumed were hard for him. He told me his family had gotten together for the first time in a long while and that he really enjoyed himself. He said " We celebrated the real reason for Christmas, no gifts, just spending quality time with family." I have felt sad all day and on my drive home I thought about him and the last time I saw him. I'm really glad he and his family had that one really nice last Christmas together. Now maybe he can be with his wife and she can explain why she did what she did. I hope he rests in peace.

I did have a positive thing happen prior to work. A positive OPK! I'm trying to relax and not think about it too much. Maybe this will be our cycle. It's only been six months now. I NEVER thought it would have taken this long. Of course what does my husband do? Works a double yesterday, out with friends tonight celebrating a birthday and has plans with another friend tomorrow. Ugh! Hopefully we will be blessed with a baby soon.

Pretty Snow!

My kitty cat looking out the window. I think she is starting to feel comfortable now. At first she would only come out of our bedroom to eat and use the litter box. but now she is all over the place. This is the biggest living space she has ever had and she still has not seen the basement.I'm just relaxing on this cold Sunday morning. The snow has been falling off and on. It looks really pretty. This is my view from my absolute favorite chair.
It is so quiet and peaceful out in the country. A big change for this city girl but I LOVE it. So far I have seen a few birds, squirrels, and deer. I hope the numbers increase in the spring. I plan on putting some feeders out so I'm sure that will help.

The picture below shows the field where we have seen some deer. A few weeks ago we saw thirteen, two of which were bucks. Yesterday we saw about eight back at the fence line. Too far for me to get a picture. Hmmm maybe I need to invest in a camera with the lenses.

The snow is very pretty but not liking the cold so much. Especially the below zero temps. Hopefully we can get back up into the 30's at least soon.

Now I need to get motivated to go grocery shopping. It's really hard when the weather is cold. Plus it's Sunday and the store will be a mad house. I could go tomorrow but I already know that I would rather come home after work than go to the store.