Sunday, April 5, 2009

Feeling blue...

Wow I have not posted in awhile. Well today is the day, I need to get some things off my mind. Last week was awful and it all started on Sunday. I worked on the floor for the first time at the new hospital for my contigent position. Lets just say long story short my preceptor sucked, did not make me feel welcome and was more worried about being on facebook than teaching me or taking care of her patients. Now the question is "Do I ever want to go back there?" I will give it another try but definitely with someone that is going to do their job and show me the routine. Geez, I know I have been a nurse for 11 years but I have no idea what your hospital is like.

Then my poor sister was burglarized on Tuesday. Yep someone or some people kicked her door in and stole a bunch of her things including her identity. All I have to say is I hope they get what they deserve! There is nothing more that I hate than people who steale. We all work very hard for what we have.

Then of course AF came on Wednesday. Everyday there seems to be a new announcement of pregnancy. It's all around me but not happening to me. I feel so frustrated and it kills me to not have any control over it! If I hear " It will happen, don't worry or just relax and quit trying." I am going to lose it! No one understands unless they have been in this situation, anyone that can get pregnant in 3-4 months or less has NO idea how lucky they are.

One positive is we went to my OB and have started the whole infertility testing. At least we can find out if there is something wrong and hopefully do something to correct it. I can say I have been blessed with a very supportive husband although he may not understand why I am so emotional sometimes, he has been great! Just waiting for day 21 to get here so I can have my blood drawn. Then if we both check out ok an HSG will be done on me. This is where they inject dye into your uterus and check to make sure tubes are clear and uterus is positioned normally. Fun fun for me. I need some answers, part of me feels like something is wrong. Although my OB says it can take sometime. Most people will conceive within 18 months. That is a long damn time when you really want it. I have been going to church again which is very helpful and I pray every night. Oh well I guess that is all I have to say today. Hoping to have some good exciting announcements soon.

3 comments:

Danica Lynn said...

I think of you often and pray that you are doing okay. I'm sorry you're so down. I wish I could do or say something. If you need someone, I'm here. HUGS!!!!

Allison said...

((HUGS)) I know what you're going through and it sucks. :(

My Own Coconut Telegraph said...

Just came across your blog...I was in your shoes at this time last year, and felt EXACTLY the same way you described!! My younger sister had conceived and had three babies without blinking an eyelash, and it just wouldn't come as quickly for me, and I yearned for what she had gotten so easily...I'll continue to follow along, and please know that I'm cheering for you!!